To My Broken Sister

 “I‎t is the nature of love to love as much as we feel we are loved and to love whatever the one we love loves.”  (St. Catherine of Siena)

To my broken Sister... 

It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. How could you have known that you would be powerless in the struggle?  You didn’t know that something would be taken from you.

You held onto hope.

You strove for joy.  

But it didn’t go as you had planned.

You were left beaten. Helpless. Defeated. Empty.

You searched for answers, but there were none.

You sought consolation, but you found loneliness and heartache.  

You looked for friends along the journey, but they left you.

You wanted to be understood, but no one got it...because they haven’t been there. And you really don’t want them to be there anyway.  

You looked for peace, but it failed you. Just like the outcome failed you. Just like relationships failed you. Just like you felt your body failed you.  Just like the future failed you.

But you...you are not a failure.

You are not a statistic.

You are not a label.  

You are glory personified.

You are strength.

You are beauty.

You are hope.

You are perseverance.

You are real, and raw, and honest.  

You are life at its deepest meaning.

You are the one who survived this.

You are the one who wakes up everyday and keeps fighting.

You are the one who chooses to take another breath, live another moment, embrace another day. 

You are a mother.  

You are a fighter.  

You are worthy. 

And in your “weakness, you are made strong.” 

My dear broken Sister, don’t give up.  You are not alone.

Don’t believe the lies encircling ‘round you.  Don’t fall into the trap of despair. Believe you can. Believe you will. Believe in a purpose even when it seems impossible.  

And embrace the hurt.

Lean into the sorrow.

Drown in the pain if you have to.

Let the grief be all consuming. 

Allow the wounds to gape and reveal. 

And maybe one day, just maybe one day soon, the brokenness will bring mending. And healing. And resurrection. And even joy.

Broken Sister, it’s really not your fault. Give yourself permission to love the you that loves the one you lost.