Today my grief is a longing.  A dull ache that never goes away, stealing my breath  and causing me to feel like I can’t breathe.  Today my grief is finding beauty.  The Eucharist. A smile. A glimpse of joy. A warm fall morning.  The flowers at your grave. Standing near you as the sun warms my skin, and the birds sing, reminding me of our silent retreat together. Today my grief is feeling you in my heart, always. Knowing that wherever I go, you are always near. And I feel it so deeply. Today my grief is choosing. Choosing to take another step forward. Choosing to be present. Choosing to remember. Choosing to let God soften the edges of my heart.  Today my grief is real and tangible. I am aware of its presence. But I invite it in.  I do not hide from it or run away.  Today, I step back, and I allow it to take its place in my life.

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