Feeling vs. Wanting
“O soul, steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, Who is Love and Mercy.” (St. Faustina)
I feel broken and discarded, because I can’t be fixed.
I feel unwanted, because I do not know what I want.
I feel abandoned and lonely, because this is a path untraveled by many I know.
I feel isolated, because my grief and anxiety are paralyzing.
I feel anxious and restless, because hope does not lie on the horizon.
I feel lost and confused, because I have no answers.
I feel misunderstood, because no one understands.
I feel trapped, because my mind imprisons me.
I feel out of control, because I can’t control anything.
I feel exhausted, because I’m trying to fight...breathe...survive.
I feel a loss of identity, because I don’t know who I am in the midst of life and loss.
I feel insecure and vulnerable, because nothing is secure...safe...guaranteed.
So many feelings. So many emotions. Just. So. Much.
...All of these feelings. I just want a break from them.
LORD, HAVE MERCY.